Load of bull or effective way of getting trough life?
As probably anyone in my field of work and lifestyle, I am constantly being bombarded with messages of constant positivity. Apparently, in order to become all zen, peaceful and enlightened, we
must think positively every second of our being about everything and everyone we encounter. We should look at life from the gran scheme of things point of view, see how insignificant we and our lives
are compared to the vastness of the universe, which should show us that our problems don’t matter because we are all going to die and few billion years the sun will explode and take our planet with
it. Rather depressing if you ask me, although if you are single and settled, it makes it easier to let go of any responsibilities and decide that nothing really matters, so might as well smile and
pretend all is good and feel positive about each moment.
I’ve actually been there, in that mode of thinking, in the past, I even generously and arrogantly shared this view with whoever would happen to mention any misfortune. Looking back, I realise, I was actually deeply depressed and in massive denial of my reality while suppressing my real feelings. Hiding my own insecurities, I masked them with arrogance and presented myself as the all knowing, all wise being that has its shit together, until a real tragedy broke me to pieces, revealed my bullshit and brought down my walls. There was no more denial, no more hiding, it was painful, it was sad and it was hard, the shit just got real.
I rose through it all and funnily enough found my strength in remaining positive, but not in the denial kind of way, in the realistic kind of way. I felt and acknowledged my feelings fully, all that sadness, anger, disappointment, I felt it all the way through. I did not diminish my feelings, nor the seriousness of my situation, I acknowledged how shit it all was, felt it through and kept going anyway. That was the positivity, that feeling of hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that focus on a positive outcome that must be just around corner, the remembering that I’ve got thus far, despite all the challenges, I am still here, I am still standing and I’ll never give up. I remember that although it’s not always good or pleasant or easy, it’s also never permanently bad.
Being positive despite your current situation, does not mean denying it, avoiding it or minimising it, it means keeping going and not giving up despite it being really hard and really shit. Acknowledge, take steps to deal with it and don’t give up, the positive outcome you are praying for is around the next corner.
This is a part of my KMM Serenity project.
You can also find me on youtube - Kristina Mendez Matejova
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